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Mark Twain

Mark Twain

Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. Twain is most noted for his novels Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which has since been called the Great American Novel, and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He...
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Help turn Freebase into a giant dictionary of quotations by adding your favorite quotations here.To add a new quotation, follow these simple steps:Name the quotation. For relatively short quotations, the full quotation can be the title. For longer quotes, enter a part of the quotation as the title,...
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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  • Nov 20, 1900

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History may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.

History may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.

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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do…

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do…

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

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…[I]n order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

…[I]n order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions…

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions…

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

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You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time

Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time

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Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

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Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

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The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

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There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

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The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.

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Few sinners are saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Few sinners are saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

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Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

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One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.

One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.

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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.

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We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

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Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

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We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.

We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.

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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.

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A crank is someone with a new idea -- until it catches on.

A crank is someone with a new idea -- until it catches on.

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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.

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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

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A man's house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant associations. By and by, as the days and weeks go on, first he misses this, then that, then the other thing. And when he casts about for it he finds that it was in that house. Always it is an essential -- there was but one of its kind. It cannot be replaced. It was in that house. It is irrevocably lost. It will be years before the tale of lost essentials is complete, and not till then can he truly know the magnitude of his disaster.

A man's house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant associations. By and by, as the days and weeks go on, first he misses this, then that, then the other thing. And when he casts about for it he finds that it was in that house. Always it is an essential -- there was but one of its kind. It cannot be replaced. It was in that house. It is irrevocably lost. It will be years before the tale of lost essentials is complete, and not till then can he truly know the magnitude of his disaster.

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There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it.

There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it.

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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

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Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.

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Say the report is exaggerated.

Say the report is exaggerated.

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It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble!

It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble!

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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.

Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.

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There is a great deal of human nature in people.

There is a great deal of human nature in people.

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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

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A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.

A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.

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Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race -- the individual's distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for safety's or comfort's sake, to stand well in his neighbor's eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.

Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race -- the individual's distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for safety's or comfort's sake, to stand well in his neighbor's eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.

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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid againand that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid againand that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

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As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized!

As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized!

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The way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession, but carrying a banner.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession, but carrying a banner.

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There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!

There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!

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There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.

There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.

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If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.

If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.

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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think -- yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think -- yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

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Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.

It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.

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Never do wrong when people are looking.

Never do wrong when people are looking.

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Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

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The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.

The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.

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I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

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It is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

It is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

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Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

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