Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
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Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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