Republican Party Reptile. The confessions, adventures, essays and (other) outrages of P.J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Patrick Jake O'Rourke (born November 14, 1947 in Toledo, Ohio) is an American political satirist, journalist, and writer. O'Rourke is the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute and is a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, The American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, and...
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Quotations:
- The Soviet constitution guarantees everyone a job. A pretty scary idea, I'd say.
- These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper.
- The Institute of U.S. and Canadian Studies is supposed to have subscribed to the "Village Voice" for six years in an attempt to find out about life in America's rural areas.
- I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck.
- Smoking cigarettes seems to alarm peace activists much more than voting for Reagan does.
- Anything that makes your mother cry is fun.
- I mean, so what if some fifty-eight-year-old butt-head gets a load on and starts playing Death Race 2000 in the rush-hour traffic jam? What kind of chance is he taking? He's just waiting around to see what kind of cancer he gets anyway. But if young, talented you, with all of life's possibilities at your fingertips, you and the future Cheryl Tiegs there, so fresh, so beautiful - if the two of you stake your handsome heads on a single roll of the dice in life's game of stop-the-semi - now that's taking chances! Which is why old people rarely risk their lives. It's not because they're chicken - they just have too much dignity to play for small stakes.
- The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses swarmed with the poor and stinking of sewage and trash. But there are worse parts - squatter areas where people live under cardboard, in shipping crates, behind tacked-up newspapers. Dad would march you straight to the basement with a hairbrush in his hand if he caught you keeping your hamster cage like this.
- To really enjoy drugs you've got to want to get out of where you are. But there are some wheres that are harder to get out of than others. This is the drug-taking problem for adults. Teenage weltschmerz is easy to escape. But what drug will get a grown-up out of, for instance, debt?
- A child growing up in an excessively safe environment may never learn that he is one - not until he gets married and has a wife to tell him so.
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